Groups E-H

 

Group E	Group F
Germany	Netherlands
Curacao	Japan
Ivory Coast	Sweden
Ecuador	Tunisia

 

 

Group G	Group H
Belgium	Spain
Egypt	Cape Verde
Iran	Saudi Arabia
New Zealand	Uruguay

 

Today is going to be a bit of a steep learning curve for all of us, with two teams that I doubt many people even know where they are located on the planet, along with some of our old favourites such as Die Mannschaft.

In group E, we have 3 strong teams and one which even to call them a minnow, is being generous. Curacao is an island in what is known as the Dutch Caribbean located off the Northern coast of Venezuela. The population is less than 160.000 people making it the smallest nation to ever qualify. Their aim must be just to score a goal, something which will be hard to do given the other teams in their group.

Ecuador, not usually considered one of the stronger South American teams, have become defensive giants in recent times. Two of their defenders started in the recent European Champions League final on opposing sides. Ecuador's problem is scoring goals, but they will be very hard to beat.

Ivory Coast has a young squad and should be fun to watch, they did not concede a goal in qualifying, but they did score 25 themselves.

Die Mannschaft or as we know them, Ze Shermans, are not the team they were. They have lost their fear factor, gone are the days where Germany always wins after 90 minutes to paraphrase a famous quote. However, they should advance from this group with ease.

Group F is not as simple as it looks, I do not expect a lot from Tunisia, not one of the stronger African teams. Flat pack Sweden scrapped into the world cup through the back door so to speak, but footballing history is littered with teams doing well after barely qualifying, I don't think they will go far in the knockout stages, but they should make it through.

This leaves the rising sun and the Oranjeboom. In 2022, the rising sun defeated Espana with a goal that despite all the advances in technology is still argued about today. 

This goal enabled the Samurai boys to win their group and eliminated Ze Shermans at the same time. There are more and more Japanese players featuring in the line ups of the top clubs in Europe, while small in stature, they are big in heart with a generous dose of skill sprinkled in.

The Oranjeboom are the perennial bridesmaids of World cup football, three final appearances all ending in defeat as well as a third and fourth place finish. There has been a certain amount of disharmony in the national team for a number of years, and Dutch domestic football is not considered to be very strong. Again, they will advance, probably a stage or two but are lacking in attack, something which seems to be a problem for many teams. One thing is for sure, the Dutch fans are amazing with their famous links rechts dance.

Group G, will not generate much excitement, so we can briefly deal with this group. The Kiwis prefer playing with a different shaped ball, they are known as the All Whites as opposed to the All Blacks, they need to keep it simple, but no more needs to be said about them.

The Pharaohs are heavily reliant on a few players, they do not generally travel well but should have enough to advance.

The Ayatollahs are in a difficult position, back home things are not calm, they are technically in a war with the US of A, despite there being a ceasefire at the moment, but the war of rhetoric goes on. A number of their backroom staff have been refused entry into the US of A. They have also never advanced form the group stages, but due to the format, this time, as with the Jocks is their chance. What will be interesting to see is how many of their players do not want to return to Iran after their participation has ended.

There is however one very amusing story here. As I am sure all the readers know, June is world pride month and the evil empire in an effort to improve their image wanted to show that they are an inclusive and woke organisation. Before the draw for the tournament, the game due to be played on June 26th in Seattle, a known stronghold of the LGBTQ+ ilk, was designated as the game where pride would be celebrated.

I am sure by now, you know what's coming, but of course in a massive ironic twist, it transpired that the game between the Pharaohs and the Ayatollahs was the one due to be played then. There will be lots of events taking place outside the stadium to commemorate the occasion. It will be interesting to see how the fans react, to something which is completely illegal in their cultures.

This leaves us with the red devils from Belgium and any team with that nickname is not one to be liked in my eyes. They are past their prime and have missed their opportunity for success after finishing third in 2018.

To finish off for today, we will look at Group H, Espana have to be one of the favourites for the tournament, they are strong in every position and have been very successful recently, we will surely be covering them deep into the tournament, so that will do for now.

Uruguay were twice winners in the early days of the world cup. They are now managed by Marcelo Bielsa, an idiosyncratic anomaly in the world of football. I love Bielsa and his footballing philosophy, so I hope that Uruguay do well.

Saudi Arabia have been a growing force in world football, and they will be hosting the world cup in 2034. They shocked the world in 2022 when they beat Argentina 2-1 in their opening match.

Despite this improvement, I think they may struggle here, especially as the last team in this group is such an unknown quantity.

As with Curacao, does anyone know where Cape Verde is geographically? Well, it is off the West coast of Africa and is a former colony of Portugal that gained independence in 1975 after the fall of the Portuguese dictatorship the previous year. This is the first time that they have qualified for a world cup, thus making them an unknown factor.

They will have good support as there is a large Cape Verdean diaspora in the US of A. Their nickname is the Blue Sharks, and they may catch some people by surprise, they are an outside bet to finish third and advance.

Tomorrow, we will finish the previews with the return of some old favourites, EnGerLand, the Frogs, Crybaby Ronaldo, to name but a few.