Three more ties to preview including Les Bleus. Will a favoured team win today?

After the veritable feast we had yesterday, do you still have room for more? Brazil scrapped through, I did warn you that Ze Shermans were not very good, so well done to Paraguay even if VAR helped them out big time.

Although the Fez Heads did not need VAR, somebody should check if they slipped the Oranjeboom a Micky Finn before those penalties. The last two by "Pitbull" timber and smalltown boy Summerville were scandalous.

Today we can start with some Ivorian amuse gueules, let us go with some Alloco, or if you prefer and I know I do, some Gravlaks. Yes, it is the Pianists from Cote D'Ivoire against the Vikings of Norway. Another intriguing clash between Africa and Europe.

These two sides have never faced each other in a competitive international match so there is no clip to share with you.

According to the legends, a Viking expedition led by Leif Erikson reached the North American continent nearly 500 years before Columbus did making them the first Europeans to do so (of course not discounting (Asterix in America).

a 1000 years earlier?

I do not think the Vikings ever reached as far as the West coach of Africa, but if they had done, I am convinced it would not have been a good outcome for the local inhabitants. They will be singing in the halls of Valhalla tonight.

For the main course, it will be a choice between Coq Au Vin or Cassoulet served with some Lyonnaise Potatoes or some Kottbullar (probably from IKEA) with Raagmunk.

One of the things I associate with the land of nearly one hundred thousand lakes is its functionality, think IKEA furnishings or Volvo cars. Compare that with the home of the Michelin star system which actually started as a gimmick to do with tires but never mind that, or the three musketeers and one thinks of flamboyance and daring do.

This in my eyes is a good way to look at their respective football teams. Over the past thirty years, Les Bleus have been entertaining us with free flowing attacking football, that even as a born Englishman who has an innate distrust of anything French has to admit has been fun to watch.

The Swedish Meatballs, meanwhile, have had some good attacking players but have never really threatened to set the world alight with their football. Some of you may remember the Swedish team of 1994 one of who's star was Thomas Brolin, in the end it turned out he was rather too fond of the meatbals.

Surprisingly enough, they have never faced each other in a World cup tournament, they did play each other in Euro 2012 and Les Bleus lost that game, but that was when a repeat of the French revolution was taking place within the Les Bleus camp. 

As we saw last night, nothing is guaranteed in football, but I feel the Frogs will enjoy splashing in the Swedish lakes to set up a clash with Paraguay.

For dessert, we need to pick between some Churros or some Espumilla and for those not sure of where we are. it is the Sombreros against the place where Darwin formulated his theory of Evolution, Ecuador and for Darwin the Galapagos Islands.

By the time the game is played tonight, it will be a moonlit night in old Mexico and as the tourists wander between some old adobe haciendas near the Azteca stadium, they may well hear the plaintive cries of many young Mexican girls.

They have played once before back in 2002, but the blue footed boobys have come a long way since then.

Those who have been following since the beginning will remember that I wrote Ecuador will be very difficult to beat, but will struggle to score, which was borne out when they drew with the mighty Curacao. However, they beat Ze Shermans in a must win game which is a great result even in the light of Ze Shermans subsequent defeat to Paraguay, so they will come into this game full of confidence.

The Sombreros, on the other hand, have not yet been tested, and were drawn in a ridiculously easy group.  So, the fact that they have won all three games, especially as they are a host nation with all that entails, does not add up to that much.

This is not going to be a walk in the park, I am predicting a cagey affair, and I will buck the trend and plump for the blue boobys to fly on to the next round.

I will end today with returning to a feature of last night’s penalty dramas, and with a shout out to my eldest son and his thoughts on what went on. His take was that European footballers are over thinking penalties, all these mincing little steps as they approach the ball, the stop start nature of the run ups, all done in an effort to confuse the goalie, where all they are really doing is confusing themselves.

I am not saying taking a penalty is easy but if one runs up and kicks as hard as one can in the right direction, one should score. Of course you could blast it over the bar, but it is much harder for a keeper to save a powerful shot even if they get a hand to it.

Au revoir until tomorrow, when we will have three more games including of course EnGerLand.

 

 

We are going on a culinary trip round the world, as the last 32 ramps up the tempo.

Welcome back, and today we have a three course meal to preview (not two as I said yesterday), but before we serve the hors d'oeuvre, we have to mention the indigestion or heartburn that we suffered last night, thanks to the awful game between the Lumberjacks and Bafana Bafana.

This game provided more ammunition for those opposed to the expansion of the tournament, it was dire, I think we heard more boos than cheers from the crowd especially from their frustration with Bafana Bafana’s tactics. They were playing for penalties and to give them a bit of credit, they almost executed their game plan perfectly. Thank God we will not have to suffer them anymore.

Think of your favourite three course meal, picture what you like to eat most to start a meal, as we embark on a culinary feast around the world. We will start with either Coxinha or Sushi, which will be served when the Samba Kings face the Samurais.

They have faced each other once before in a world cup back in 2002, but they are both very different teams from then and I am not referring to the personnel.

Japanese football has improved by leaps and bounds since then and they will be a serious test of the Samba Kings credentials to go far in the tournament. In fact, last year they faced each other with the following outcome.

The Samba Kings have not won a world cup since their last victory in 2002, and their aura has diminished in brightness since then. Victories over the voodoo doctors and the Jocks do not provide us with enough data to say if they are really the mustard so to speak. The Samurai's draws with the Oranjeboom and IKEA were very good results.  I really do not know who to pick here, I like both sides, I will go with the Samba kings because they have a very good manager who knows how to prepare teams for knockout football.

The main course could prove to be a bit stodgy, Asado Paraguayo served with Cassava. or perhaps some Bratwurst maybe with Kartoffelsalat or some Sauerkraut, depending on the result of the game. We are of course referring to the game between Paraguay und Ze Shermans, it could almost be considered a derby despite the vast distance between the two countries.  They met back in the 2002 world cup.

 

There is a healthy Sherman presence in Paraguay and it dates back further than just after the second world war, the initial Sherman foray into Paraguay was at the end of the 19^th Century, when the sister of the Nazis favourite philosopher Nietzsche, moved there with her husband to set up a commune of sorts based on an ideology that would take hold in Germany of the 1930's, well before anyone had heard of the NSDAP.

The famous Paraguayan dictator, Alfred Stroessner who ruled for thirty-five years was of Sherman descent. He sounds like he could have played in midfielder with our old friend Schweinsteiger. Paraguayan football is very defensive, somewhat like Ecuador, their problem is scoring, something they only managed twice in the group stages.

For a number of years now, Ze Shermans have been shadows of their former selves, gone are the days of the Kaiser and Gerd Muller, or the afore mentioned Pig climber and KH Rummenigge. This is the first time since 2014 that Ze Shermans have made it through the group stages. They did not look good, losing to Ecuador and barely scrapping past Cote D'Ivoire, knocking back seven shots of Orange Liqueur does not give one much credit.

I think they have made a big mistake with their goalkeeper who came out of retirement to play in the world cup. Neuer looks slow, he was injured a fair amount last season, and it shows. The fact he is playing shows perhaps a paucity in the goalkeeping department in the Vaterland.

Despite all that, I am going with Ze Shermans in this one. in what could be a low scoring affair. If Ze Shermans do come through, they could face their old cross border enemies in a mouth watering last sixteen clash.

For dessert, we can opt for either Appeltaart or Kaab al Ghazal, as we have the intriguing matchup between the Oranjeboom and the Fez Heads, unfortunately for most of us, this game is being played in the middle of the night, so we will not get to enjoy these delights in person. They have also faced each other once before in a world cup, back in 1994.

 

The Oranjeboom, along with Les Bleus both scored ten goals in the group stages, (I know Ze Shermans did as well, but they padded their stats as mentioned above.) Their standout player so far has been Crescencio (Jimmy) Summerville, a small town boy who is looking for a big money move this summer.

The Fez Heads have also looked good with two victories and their creditable draw with the Samba Kings. As mentioned in a previous post, almost all the team were born in Europe and three of their squad could play for the Oranjeboom as they were born there. This game is the hardest one to call.

I think that the evil empire would want Morocco to advance as that would be good in their eyes for the expansion of the game, but I cannot go with anything FIFA want so I want the Oranjeboom, but do not be surprised if the Fez Heads somehow make it through with a dodgy decision from VAR.

Bon Appetit to all, tomorrow, we shall continue our culinary trip around the world with another three course feast.

Group stages are finished, now it is the money time.

 

The group stages are over, and the real tournament can begin. The expansion of the tournament to 48 teams provided us with some fairytales such as tiny Curacao, the Orange Liqueur from the Caribbean, actually getting one point and also scoring a goal against Ze Shermans.

The biggest surprise has been another Island nation, this time the Blue Sharks from Cape Verde, actually qualifying for the knockout stage, by managing to draw all three of their games including against Espana. The reward for the Blue Sharks is a game against Los Gauchos and Messi.

The Jocks duly provided the tragedy we predicted as result after result went against them and they eventually finished as the eleventh placed third team, with only the top eight advancing. The Tartan Army has been magnificent and will be missed especially by the owners of pubs and bars across the continent.

The Ayatollahs also went home after a nail biting conclusion to the game between the Strudels and the ex-French colony of Algeria. Algeria scored in the fifth minute of injury time and in Teheran they were dancing in the streets and prostrating themselves to Allah, only for the Strudels to score a minute later sending the Ayatollahs home. 

This type of mood swing is common.

The three host nations all advanced although the lumberjacks lost their home field advantage, more about them shortly. The US of A have on paper an easy looking run to the quarter finals, so now the pressure is on.

The Sombreros utilizing their home field advantage to the full were one of only three teams to win all three of their group games, the others being Los Gauchos and Les Bleus, so they are in pretty good company. The two latter teams have so far been the standout teams along with the Oranjeboom.

Of the other usual suspects, we shall go into more detail when we preview their actual games but suffice to stay there were no major upsets for the so called big teams, even if they all did not look that good at times.

Of the teams we mentioned as being dark horses, the Samurai boys, the Fez heads and the Vikings are all looking good. and do not be misled by the battering the Frog legs gave to Odin’s boys, The Vikings played a second string team resting ten players for the clash.

To conclude this part, an interesting, in my eyes at least, stat. Nine of the ten African teams advanced, whereas only two from the nine Asian teams managed to do so and I feel that Australia as a continent in its own right is not really Asia and even Japan as an island race is also not.

So, what do we have to look forward to. There are sixteen games in this round and there are some absolute corkers scattered amongst them such as the Oranjeboom against the Fez heads. The Samba Kings against the Samurai and as mentioned above the fairytale clash between the Blue Sharks and the Argies. The Vikings against the pianists from Cote D’Ivoire will also be an interesting clash.

There are also a number of games that will only interest the residents of the respective countries playing in them, such as the Pharaohs versus the Wallabies and the game which opens this round tonight between the lumberjacks and Bafana Bafana.

This game is a difficult one to call, Bafana Bafana, looked awful in their opening game and not very good in their second game scrapping a draw with a late penalty and then winning one nil in their last game against the very poor K Pop demons.

The Lumberjacks were not much better, drawing their first, destroying the hapless Qataris in their second and losing when the Canadian goalie had more holes than the Swiss cheese he was playing against. This game is good ammunition for those opposed to the expansion of the tournament.

If the lumberjacks were playing this at home, I would favour them but as it is being played in Los Angeles, I am not sure who to pick. The fact is that whoever wins will be facing the Fez heads or the Oranjeboom and that will be that.  This game could go to extra time and even penalties, and as I am not allowed to sit on the fence, I will go with Canada.

Tomorrow, we have two good games to preview, so until then, adios,

Round two summary and a look ahead to the crunch matches in the final round of group games

Welcome back to a short review of the second round of group games and a look forward to the things to play for in the final round of group games which begins today.

Two of the teams who I picked as being among the favorites showed what we expected to see from them after disappointing in their first games. The Flamenco dancers weaved patterns around the oil sheikhs who may be used to some belly dancing but could not cope with the whirl of the flamencos.

Crybaby Ronaldo came to the party with two goals in the Corks five nil thrashing of the trade merchants from the silk route and I have to give him some credit, as I have been harsh on him, so far, He took his goals nicely and the team really gelled.

The Argies and the Frogs carried on their merry way, with both their stars scoring another brace. The Frogs had a two hour hold up due to lightning near the ground. That’s probably the most interesting thing about them so far.

The two nations from the United Kingdom also returned to what we expect but to their detriment, The girders of the Forth bridge were toothless (a common sight back home) in their tame defeat to Morocco, despite their protestations for two penalties and as for EnGerLand, all I will say for now is every team usually has one bad game at a tournament and it is better if it is in the group stages. They were also lucky not to concede a penalty, and we will return to the Video Assistant Referee known as VAR shortly.

Elsewhere, the Viking long boat men continue to row forwards or is it backwards and are looking good. The little boy with his finger in the dike has so far managed to stem the flow for the Oranjeboom. The Samurai put Tunisia to the sword and sent them home, with one of the Carthaginian defenders giving a remarkable press conference after the game where he lambasted the Tunisian board for being incompetent and corrupt. Cato the younger would have been proud of his moral integrity, even though it ended in tears.

On the surprise watch, the Blue Sharks from the islands off the West Coast of Africa remained unbeaten with a really good chance of advancing to the next stage. The other Island team, the Orange Liqueur from the Caribbean, gained a historic first point

To finish the review part, we also know five of the teams that will be bowing out after their next game, Haiti, Panama, Jordan, Tunisia and perhaps surprisingly Turkey.

Before looking at some of the interesting match ups to come, I feel the use of VAR must be discussed and in fact the standard of refereeing in general.

Some of the officiating on display has been dubious to say the least, forty-four countries have supplied the main referees with another six countries having people selected as secondary officials or on VAR.

The game Is refereed differently from continent to continent and to those readers who do not understand how that can be, surely the rules are the rules, well yes, but they are also open to interpretation. What maybe a foul in one place may be seen as perfectly acceptable in another, for example when two players jump for a header with force.

This is causing a lot of difficulty and frustration for the players as they do not know what is permissible. However, this is not the real talking point here. That honour goes to the lack of intervention of VAR when the whole planet thinks that an infringement has taken place except for the people sitting in the VAR room.

Lots of People but especially football fans love a conspiracy theory, especially when it comes to favoritism or injustice for or against particular teams. Argentina should have had two red cards so far, one in each match for foul play,  EnGerLand should have had a penalty awarded against them last night in the game against Ghana,

How is that not even looked at. EnGerLand were very lucky

Lastly Morocco, probably should have had a Penalty against them when they played Scotland.

Again, VAR must intervene here.

The problem with the examples I have given is that the VAR officials did not even take a look or intervene to ask the referee to have another look on the screen he has available to do so. The Evil Empire of FIFA favouring the big teams, one for you to discuss and get angry about if you are a supporter of one of the aggrieved parties.

So, what is to look forward to starting tonight until Sunday morning? Firstly, both games in a group will start simultaneously.  

Already tonight we have a game which could provide much drama, when the Samba Kings take on the Wee Jocks in a repeat of their memorable clash in the 1982 world cup. 

The Jocks do not want a repeat of this result.

The Jocks need a draw to be certain of advancing, but if they lose, there is a scenario where the three points they have accrued will not be enough and they could go out on goal difference which would be  a classic embodiment of the tragedy which is Scottish football. If they do lose tonight, they must hope it is only by a goal or two.

There are two games where a draw between the two teams would see them both through with four points apiece, Australia against Paraguay and Austria and Algeria. Austria have previous form for this in their infamous goalless draw against West Shermany also in the 1982 finals. Two draws here would be very bad for the Jocks if they lose to the Samba Kings.

A draw between the Pharaohs and the Ayatollahs in the Pride game could also be a negative result for the Jocks.

In the game between the Blue Sharks and the Oil Sheikhs, it is winner take all, the sheikhs have to win or they are out, a draw might be enough for the Blue Sharks. Interestingly enough, The Spam fritters from Fray Bentos may suffer a shock exist if they lose to the castanets. This would be good for the Jocks.

Senegal needs to hammer Babylon by four clear goals to overtake the Jocks on goal difference, once again dependent on the Jocks not gaining a draw.

There are other interesting games, but that is enough for now. Let us hope for some more good football. Lots of goals and surprises galore.

I will be back on Sunday, when we will start to get to the nitty gritty of elimination football.

 

A few take aways from the 1st round including a bucket of Vindaloo.

This morning saw the conclusion of the first round of 24 games in the group stages. All 48 teams have now played one game, so it is a good time to do a what have we learnt so far style review.

I must start with an admission, I have only watched seven complete games, plus three first halves of other games. This means there are 14 games where I have only seen the highlights which are readily available. Despite that I am ready to share my observations with you all.

The English premier league reigns supreme. In the previews. we discussed the increase in size of the tournament, how the minnows would fair and other such topics. I think the jury is still out on the increase, as I mentioned above, speaking as an average fan, I have watched a tad over twenty five percent of the games, that is not very high, there are just too many games. Obviously, the time of the games due to the location has been a factor, but also there are too many that are just not worth the effort.

What about the evil empires so called lofty ambition of giving more nations a chance to participate?  Obviously on a base level this is true, but this is where the opening line in this section comes into play.

The Democratic Republic of Congo team that admirably held Portugal to a draw had five players that play in the English premier league, a few others in the French first division. There is not one player in the twenty-six-man squad who plays in the local league. The Oranjeboom had 8 premier league players in their starting eleven. Even Ze Shermans had a few.

With the proliferation of football, that can be found on the internet and the insatiable demand of top European clubs to find the newest talent, the so-called minnows are not so small anymore. This is definitely the case with Africa, the Arab countries still lag behind here.

There is also another important point to mention here, one which is a major talking point all over the world and has nothing to do with football and that is migration.

Going back to the DRC, only five of the twenty six man squad where actually born in the DRC, The Moroccan team that faced Brazil comprised of eleven players who were born in Europe to parents who had left Morocco in search of a better life.  

I heard an interesting stat that there are fifty-three players in the world cup who were born in Paris France (as opposed to Paris Texas) and yet only five of them play for France.

An interesting subject to discuss at the water cooler for people not that interested in football, but who want to join in the conversation.

To sum up, there is a certain European superiority complex when thinking about lesser teams and this needs to be revised for the reasons listed above.

It is now time to talk about some football, one thing that is very noticeable is the improvement in the flow of the game due to the rule changes we mentioned in the previews. We are hardly seeing players staying down after tackles. unless they are really hurt. Throw ins are actually only taking five seconds as we see the referees counting down with their fingers. In the DRC game, Portugal was awarded a corner when the goalkeeper took too long restarting the game. The last point here is that due to the hydration break, injury time always will be 3 minutes plus the actual injury time.  

Two very important clarifications. Firstly, a corner that has been incorrectly awarded can be changed to a goal kick by the Video Assistant referee, but a goal kick cannot be changed to a corner.

Secondly, and this is probably the most important and will help your health. One of the things common to all fans watching on TV is the shouting at the screen that a player is offside when the side they are supporting has conceded a goal. It happened in the EnGerLand game yesterday. The Croatian who nodded the ball on had his arm in an offside position as he jumped to head the ball. It will help to remember the song we all teach our children to learn body parts. Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes can all be offside, but arms cannot be offside as you cannot score a goal with your arm.

this is not offside even though it looks it.

How have the true minnows performed? to be honest as expected, with an obvious exception, and this is where the expansion falls down. Ze Shermans duly quaffed on the Orange Liqueur of Curacao with a 7-1 picnic. However, mark my words, Ze Shermans looked frail at the back. We will have to wait to see them face better opposition before we can truly say if they will go far this time round.

The game for Ze Shermans was basically a training session and was completely pointless from a competitive point of view. We are very happy that Curacao scored a goal, but do we really need to have the extra games just so that Curacao or Qatar or Jordan can say that they scored at a world cup.

Iraq and Jordan both lost heavily, as did Tunisia who are a more established African side who then promptly sacked their manager after one game. Who would be a football manager?

I have already mentioned the DRC, their draw with Portugal was well earned, but I will contend that the comments I made about the cork boys of Portugal suffering dearly if they insisted on playing Crybaby Ronaldo were vindicated. It was nice to hear the legendary Thierry Henri agreeing with me in his post match analysis.

Crybaby was obviously under enormous pressure after the performance of his great rival Messi in Los Gauchos 3-0 victory over Algeria. However, I want you to watch this clip and explain why Messi was not shown a red card for this tackle and even more importantly, why did VAR not even look at it?

The last game in this section is the draw between the blue sharks of Cape Verde and the flamenco dancers of Espana. This is the type of result that vindicates the evil empire in their eyes. The Cape Verde goalkeeper played like Superman. Espana suffered from a severe dose of complacency and while it was fun to watch because the castanets failed to click, it was not competitive. Are we watching to see one team playing in an Alamo style bunker or two teams, cutting and thrusting and parrying with each other a la Zorro? I know what I would prefer to watch.  Again, as with the Ze Shermans, this was no more than a training exercise for Espana, and I can see them improving from here.

Other games worthy of mention were the ones between the Samba Kings and Morocco and the Rising sun against the windmills. Of course, we cannot forget the Senegal derby, where Les Bleus were lucky not to be trailing at half time and eventually came out on top. I also feel that I must point out that probably the best frog player on the night was born in London!

Honorable mention must go to Scotland who managed to beat Haiti with a very deflected goal and thus win their first group game in 32 years and to the bushmen who led the Turkish baths on a walk about into the outback and lost them there. The Tartan army has also made its mark drinking Boston dry. an impressive achievement.

To finish off, the game between EnGerLand and the boys from kings Landing was an instant classic, it was a vibrant display of how the beautiful game should be played. There is still a long way to go before the fans should start thinking about whether football is coming home, but it was good start

There were two groups where both games ended in a draw, so it is all to play for in those groups with the next round starting today.  I'll be back in a week, feel free to leave comments and I hope I have given you things to talk about.

 

 

 

The last 4 groups to preview Including EnGerLand and Les Bleus

 

Group I	Group J
France	Argentina
Senegal	Algeria
Iraq	Austria
Norway	Jordan

 

Group K	Group L
Portugal	England
Congo DR	Croatia
Uzbekistan	Ghana
Colombia	Panama

 

We have four more groups to preview, before the tournament starts today with the game between the cartels and Bafana Bafana.

Groups I and J are very similar, each contains one of the finalists from 2022, there are three good teams and one very weak Arab team in each group who are not expected to make any waves. Iraq is in its second world cup and Jordan are making their debut.

Les Bleus of France are one of the favourites and to be honest are fun to watch, interestingly, the squad they have picked caused quite a lot of discussion back in Gaul when it was announced with a number of surprise omissions, so we will have to see if “Napolean” Deschamps who has been the Gallic emperor for the past sixteen years knows best or not and can retire with his second triumph as manager.

Senegal are a very strong side, they are the other current African champions alongside Morrocco, they will prove a handful for everyone and of course to round out the group we have the Norwegian Blues who hopefully will be able to put off pining for the fjords, long enough to entertain us with lots of goals as they have two fantastic players up front.

I do not think that Los Gauchos will successfully lasso a second successive title, their little maestro, in some fans eyes the GOAT, is four years older and they still rely on him for so much. They should win the group. Algeria and Austria are both capable and will also advance.

As I mentioned, each of these two groups has one very weak team and this is going to hopefully mean a flurry of goals and have huge implications on the finishing positions. In general, one assumes that a hypothetically weaker team will finish in third, but it is possible that l’escargot or the gods from Valhalla could finish in third and set up a very interesting clash in the last 32 with a strong team from another group.

Group K has the poisonous jellyfish as the main team with the second part of the fan GOAT argument still playing for them and in reality, hampering their progress. Some people just do not know how to let go and Christiano Crybaby Ronaldo is one of them. The Portuguese Men of War are a really good team and if they manage CR7 well, and by that, I mean restricting his minutes then they are one of the candidates to go the whole way.

Colombia can be exciting, they still have James (Chamez) Rodriquez who scored this wonder goal 12 years ago.

 

Add to that L Diaz and they will progress. Uzbekistan is the 4th debutant at this world cup, and I know absolutely nothing about them, so I’m looking forward to seeing what they have to offer.  Their best player is a defender who plays for Manchester Citeh in the English Premier league and that’s it.

When I was growing up, the DRC was known as Zaire, and they appeared in the 1974 World cup. They lost 9-0 to Yugoslavia and were involved in one of the funniest moments in world cup history in their game against Brazil.

 

The new version of the team with a different name had not qualified since them, but their fortunes have improved over the past few years, they are defensively very strong and have a midfielder who played for Sunderland in the EPL this year to great effect.

The closing game between these two teams promises to be a classic.

This brings us to the final group to cover, and it is the group that includes EnGerLand, it is now sixty years since England won their only world cup, and for once and I do not know why, the expectations from this squad are not as over exaggerated as they normally are. Perhaps, it is partly because they have a German manager. If EnGerLand do have to face Ze Shermans, in the later stages, will we still hear all the songs with their World War two themes such as this classic?

 

As with other big teams, I hope that we will have plenty opportunity to cover EnGerLand further down the road, so will stop here. 

Since Croatian independence after the dissolution of Yugoslavia in the 1990’s they have been a strong force in European football, reaching the final in 2018 and they finished third in 1998 and in 2022. This version is not as good as previous incarnations, but they could still cause a shock or two. EnGerLand will be wary of them as the men from Kings Landing slew the dragon of St George in the 2018 Semi Final.

Ghana have had a good record in previous world cups, but they have had wretched luck with injuries recently weakening their squad and chances to do well. As with so many of the other groups their game with the last team in the group Panama could decide if they advance or not. 

Panama has a Danish Manager who actually lived in Panama as a child before moving to Barcelona as a player and then managing in Cyprus before he was manager at Leeds United for a while. Both Canada and Uruguay are managed by ex-Leeds managers as a little piece of trivia.

So, there we have it, all twelve groups previewed, I am not going to cover every game but will do some reviews and updates on anything interesting that arises until we reach the knockout stages where I will return in full flow, so stay tuned in. I hope you have enjoyed it so far, I hope we are blessed with some good football even if we only watch the highlights of a lot of the games.

Let the fun begin.

Groups E-H

 

Group E	Group F
Germany	Netherlands
Curacao	Japan
Ivory Coast	Sweden
Ecuador	Tunisia

 

 

Group G	Group H
Belgium	Spain
Egypt	Cape Verde
Iran	Saudi Arabia
New Zealand	Uruguay

 

Today is going to be a bit of a steep learning curve for all of us, with two teams that I doubt many people even know where they are located on the planet, along with some of our old favourites such as Die Mannschaft.

In group E, we have 3 strong teams and one which even to call them a minnow, is being generous. Curacao is an island in what is known as the Dutch Caribbean located off the Northern coast of Venezuela. The population is less than 160.000 people making it the smallest nation to ever qualify. Their aim must be just to score a goal, something which will be hard to do given the other teams in their group.

Ecuador, not usually considered one of the stronger South American teams, have become defensive giants in recent times. Two of their defenders started in the recent European Champions League final on opposing sides. Ecuador's problem is scoring goals, but they will be very hard to beat.

Ivory Coast has a young squad and should be fun to watch, they did not concede a goal in qualifying, but they did score 25 themselves.

Die Mannschaft or as we know them, Ze Shermans, are not the team they were. They have lost their fear factor, gone are the days where Germany always wins after 90 minutes to paraphrase a famous quote. However, they should advance from this group with ease.

Group F is not as simple as it looks, I do not expect a lot from Tunisia, not one of the stronger African teams. Flat pack Sweden scrapped into the world cup through the back door so to speak, but footballing history is littered with teams doing well after barely qualifying, I don't think they will go far in the knockout stages, but they should make it through.

This leaves the rising sun and the Oranjeboom. In 2022, the rising sun defeated Espana with a goal that despite all the advances in technology is still argued about today. 

This goal enabled the Samurai boys to win their group and eliminated Ze Shermans at the same time. There are more and more Japanese players featuring in the line ups of the top clubs in Europe, while small in stature, they are big in heart with a generous dose of skill sprinkled in.

The Oranjeboom are the perennial bridesmaids of World cup football, three final appearances all ending in defeat as well as a third and fourth place finish. There has been a certain amount of disharmony in the national team for a number of years, and Dutch domestic football is not considered to be very strong. Again, they will advance, probably a stage or two but are lacking in attack, something which seems to be a problem for many teams. One thing is for sure, the Dutch fans are amazing with their famous links rechts dance.

Group G, will not generate much excitement, so we can briefly deal with this group. The Kiwis prefer playing with a different shaped ball, they are known as the All Whites as opposed to the All Blacks, they need to keep it simple, but no more needs to be said about them.

The Pharaohs are heavily reliant on a few players, they do not generally travel well but should have enough to advance.

The Ayatollahs are in a difficult position, back home things are not calm, they are technically in a war with the US of A, despite there being a ceasefire at the moment, but the war of rhetoric goes on. A number of their backroom staff have been refused entry into the US of A. They have also never advanced form the group stages, but due to the format, this time, as with the Jocks is their chance. What will be interesting to see is how many of their players do not want to return to Iran after their participation has ended.

There is however one very amusing story here. As I am sure all the readers know, June is world pride month and the evil empire in an effort to improve their image wanted to show that they are an inclusive and woke organisation. Before the draw for the tournament, the game due to be played on June 26th in Seattle, a known stronghold of the LGBTQ+ ilk, was designated as the game where pride would be celebrated.

I am sure by now, you know what's coming, but of course in a massive ironic twist, it transpired that the game between the Pharaohs and the Ayatollahs was the one due to be played then. There will be lots of events taking place outside the stadium to commemorate the occasion. It will be interesting to see how the fans react, to something which is completely illegal in their cultures.

This leaves us with the red devils from Belgium and any team with that nickname is not one to be liked in my eyes. They are past their prime and have missed their opportunity for success after finishing third in 2018.

To finish off for today, we will look at Group H, Espana have to be one of the favourites for the tournament, they are strong in every position and have been very successful recently, we will surely be covering them deep into the tournament, so that will do for now.

Uruguay were twice winners in the early days of the world cup. They are now managed by Marcelo Bielsa, an idiosyncratic anomaly in the world of football. I love Bielsa and his footballing philosophy, so I hope that Uruguay do well.

Saudi Arabia have been a growing force in world football, and they will be hosting the world cup in 2034. They shocked the world in 2022 when they beat Argentina 2-1 in their opening match.

Despite this improvement, I think they may struggle here, especially as the last team in this group is such an unknown quantity.

As with Curacao, does anyone know where Cape Verde is geographically? Well, it is off the West coast of Africa and is a former colony of Portugal that gained independence in 1975 after the fall of the Portuguese dictatorship the previous year. This is the first time that they have qualified for a world cup, thus making them an unknown factor.

They will have good support as there is a large Cape Verdean diaspora in the US of A. Their nickname is the Blue Sharks, and they may catch some people by surprise, they are an outside bet to finish third and advance.

Tomorrow, we will finish the previews with the return of some old favourites, EnGerLand, the Frogs, Crybaby Ronaldo, to name but a few.