Groups E-H

 

Group E	Group F
Germany	Netherlands
Curacao	Japan
Ivory Coast	Sweden
Ecuador	Tunisia

 

 

Group G	Group H
Belgium	Spain
Egypt	Cape Verde
Iran	Saudi Arabia
New Zealand	Uruguay

 

Today is going to be a bit of a steep learning curve for all of us, with two teams that I doubt many people even know where they are located on the planet, along with some of our old favourites such as Die Mannschaft.

In group E, we have 3 strong teams and one which even to call them a minnow, is being generous. Curacao is an island in what is known as the Dutch Caribbean located off the Northern coast of Venezuela. The population is less than 160.000 people making it the smallest nation to ever qualify. Their aim must be just to score a goal, something which will be hard to do given the other teams in their group.

Ecuador, not usually considered one of the stronger South American teams, have become defensive giants in recent times. Two of their defenders started in the recent European Champions League final on opposing sides. Ecuador's problem is scoring goals, but they will be very hard to beat.

Ivory Coast has a young squad and should be fun to watch, they did not concede a goal in qualifying, but they did score 25 themselves.

Die Mannschaft or as we know them, Ze Shermans, are not the team they were. They have lost their fear factor, gone are the days where Germany always wins after 90 minutes to paraphrase a famous quote. However, they should advance from this group with ease.

Group F is not as simple as it looks, I do not expect a lot from Tunisia, not one of the stronger African teams. Flat pack Sweden scrapped into the world cup through the back door so to speak, but footballing history is littered with teams doing well after barely qualifying, I don't think they will go far in the knockout stages, but they should make it through.

This leaves the rising sun and the Oranjeboom. In 2022, the rising sun defeated Espana with a goal that despite all the advances in technology is still argued about today. 

This goal enabled the Samurai boys to win their group and eliminated Ze Shermans at the same time. There are more and more Japanese players featuring in the line ups of the top clubs in Europe, while small in stature, they are big in heart with a generous dose of skill sprinkled in.

The Oranjeboom are the perennial bridesmaids of World cup football, three final appearances all ending in defeat as well as a third and fourth place finish. There has been a certain amount of disharmony in the national team for a number of years, and Dutch domestic football is not considered to be very strong. Again, they will advance, probably a stage or two but are lacking in attack, something which seems to be a problem for many teams. One thing is for sure, the Dutch fans are amazing with their famous links rechts dance.

Group G, will not generate much excitement, so we can briefly deal with this group. The Kiwis prefer playing with a different shaped ball, they are known as the All Whites as opposed to the All Blacks, they need to keep it simple, but no more needs to be said about them.

The Pharaohs are heavily reliant on a few players, they do not generally travel well but should have enough to advance.

The Ayatollahs are in a difficult position, back home things are not calm, they are technically in a war with the US of A, despite there being a ceasefire at the moment, but the war of rhetoric goes on. A number of their backroom staff have been refused entry into the US of A. They have also never advanced form the group stages, but due to the format, this time, as with the Jocks is their chance. What will be interesting to see is how many of their players do not want to return to Iran after their participation has ended.

There is however one very amusing story here. As I am sure all the readers know, June is world pride month and the evil empire in an effort to improve their image wanted to show that they are an inclusive and woke organisation. Before the draw for the tournament, the game due to be played on June 26th in Seattle, a known stronghold of the LGBTQ+ ilk, was designated as the game where pride would be celebrated.

I am sure by now, you know what's coming, but of course in a massive ironic twist, it transpired that the game between the Pharaohs and the Ayatollahs was the one due to be played then. There will be lots of events taking place outside the stadium to commemorate the occasion. It will be interesting to see how the fans react, to something which is completely illegal in their cultures.

This leaves us with the red devils from Belgium and any team with that nickname is not one to be liked in my eyes. They are past their prime and have missed their opportunity for success after finishing third in 2018.

To finish off for today, we will look at Group H, Espana have to be one of the favourites for the tournament, they are strong in every position and have been very successful recently, we will surely be covering them deep into the tournament, so that will do for now.

Uruguay were twice winners in the early days of the world cup. They are now managed by Marcelo Bielsa, an idiosyncratic anomaly in the world of football. I love Bielsa and his footballing philosophy, so I hope that Uruguay do well.

Saudi Arabia have been a growing force in world football, and they will be hosting the world cup in 2034. They shocked the world in 2022 when they beat Argentina 2-1 in their opening match.

Despite this improvement, I think they may struggle here, especially as the last team in this group is such an unknown quantity.

As with Curacao, does anyone know where Cape Verde is geographically? Well, it is off the West coast of Africa and is a former colony of Portugal that gained independence in 1975 after the fall of the Portuguese dictatorship the previous year. This is the first time that they have qualified for a world cup, thus making them an unknown factor.

They will have good support as there is a large Cape Verdean diaspora in the US of A. Their nickname is the Blue Sharks, and they may catch some people by surprise, they are an outside bet to finish third and advance.

Tomorrow, we will finish the previews with the return of some old favourites, EnGerLand, the Frogs, Crybaby Ronaldo, to name but a few.

 

 

 

 

Groups A-D Preview

 

Today, we will start previewing the groups, as there are twelve groups this time round, I will do a brief overview of four groups at a time and today we will look at Groups A to D

Group A	Group B
Mexico	Canada
South Africa	Switzerland
South Korea	Bosnia-Herzegovina
Czech Republic	Qatar

 

Group C	Group D
Brazil	USA
Morocco	Paraguay
Scotland	Australia
Haiti	Turkey

 

As you can see, I have highlighted 4 teams in red and in a bold statement, those are the teams that I expect to finish last in their groups before a ball has been kicked. I must be honest that with so many teams, it has diluted somewhat the juicy rivalries that we so adore. It is hard to say that there is "a group of death" as in the past especially with the opportunity to finish third and still advance.

Group D for example is a very bland group, the only interesting thing here is how the host nation will fare. Paraguay qualified with the lowest average goals scored, less than one per game, but also only conceded 10 times in their 18 games played in qualifying. They open against the US of A and where I live, the game kicks off at 04:00, so there is no temptation at all to watch this game. Turkey is usually strong, which is why I have gone for the kangaroos as the weakest team here.

Group B is similar, another host nation with not much footballing pedigree in Canada. Canada has a manager who has some strange views on how the game should be played. They are joined by the Yodel boys from Switzerland, who may have as many players born in in the Balkans as the Bosnians do.  BH as with many of the nations that were formally once part of Yugoslavia, are a very capable European nation, they will not pull up any trees but should have enough to qualify. The group is rounded out by Qatar, who qualified for the first time for a world cup, as last time they were the host nation. They lost all three games then and I would expect to see that repeated this time round.

We shall leave the best for last, so now we focus on Group A, the last of the hosts, the cartel kids will play the opening game of the World cup against Bafana Bafana in a repeat of the opening game from 2010 which will always be remembered for this iconic goal by scored by Tshabalala.

Bafana Bafana, will probably not trouble the scorers to borrow a phrase from cricket, they are rather toothless in attack.  With South Korea, it is a question of how well they will travel, their best player is in his twilight days, but they should have enough. The Czech Republic is a better version of BH, the game between the Czechs and Bafana Bafana could well decide if either of them will be well placed enough in third place to progress, or will both be defenestrated.

So, to group C. This is a good group, I could probably do a whole post just about this group, but I will stick to the format I have chosen.  A Selecao as they are commonly known or the Samba kings as I like to call them are probably most people’s other team. They are the most successful team in world cup history with 5 trophies. They often flatter to deceive with their beautiful attacking football, such as when they were destroyed at home, by Der Shermans in the 2014 world cup semifinal, 1-7, but they are usually fun to watch and that is what we want.

Morocco, are a very good North African side, there is a dispute as to who should be African champions at the moment after the farcical scenes in the recent African cup of nations final, when Senegal walked off the pitch in protest at a refereeing decision and the game was then won by Senegal, when the decision was reversed and Senegal agreed to play on. However. that result has been overturned and awarded to Morocco. In short, a complete mess.

Haiti are appearing in their second world cup, the last time being in 1974, Haiti which is located on the island of Hispaniola, is a very poor country, devastated by a terrible earthquake in 2010 and years of brutal dictatorship first by Papa Doc and then his son Baby Doc Duvalier, who between them ruled the country for nearly 30 years.

Haiti could not play any of their qualifying matches at home, so the fact that they managed to qualify is amazing. They are an unknown quantity and could surprise perhaps the last team we are going to look at.

When Willian Shakespeare wrote his tragedy Macbeth, he knew what he was doing when he set it in Scotland, as Scottish football over the years has mirrored the components of the tragic genre. The Jocks have qualified nine times for the world cup but have never once advanced past the group stage. It has to be stated that with the new format, this is the Jocks best opportunity of breaking that hoodoo.

Perhaps the best example of Scottish ineptness was in the World cup in 1978, the hated Sassenachs (English) had failed to qualify, and Scotland were in a group with Holland, Iran, pre the Ayatollahs and Peru, one of the weaker South American nations.

The nation was in Euphoria, Ally’s army as the fans called themselves travelled en masse to dictatorial Argentina, only for the Jocks, to, well I can’t use the expression, dirty their underwear, for as we all know, real Scottish men do not wear anything under their Kilts, when all they managed was a one all draw with Iran, a loss to Peru and despite a valiant if ultimately futile victory over Holland 3-2, they went out on goal difference. 

The commentary says it all, the dream is alive, one more goal will see the impossible, etc., but alas not to be.

So, can the Jocks do it?  it will all depend on their game with Haiti, a comfortable victory there should be enough, but you can be assured that in Port-au-Prince, the Haitian witch doctors have prepared their voodoo dolls of John McGinn and Scott McTominay and are ready to stick in their pins in an effort to pull off a mighty upset.

I really like Scottish people, they are fun to be with if you can understand what they are saying, but as any football fan will tell you, another team's misfortune is often much more enjoyable than the success of your own team, so if the unthinkable happens, it will probably be the funniest thing to happen at this world cup.

Tomorrow we will look at the next 4 groups, Hasta La Vista.

 

The Greatest Show on Earth Returns (Part II)

 

Welcome back, as promised, this is the second part of the introduction to the tournament, I feel that I must go into slightly more detail about the format of the tournament and the side issues that have arisen.

As previously mentioned, there are 16, yes, sixteen, more teams taking part. This of course means that there are many more games to be played, 104 to be precise up from 64 which has been the number played since 1998 and therefore the length of the tournament has increased from 29 to 39 days.

To be honest, this is a terrible idea, for many reasons, even the keenest football fan will lose some interest and may find it hard to get too excited in the first place. I mean who is not excited about the thought of the clash between Uzbekistan and the Democratic republic of Congo? footballing giants both.

Player health is also going to be affected, the chances for injury will be higher and the amount of rest the players will receive before the start of their domestic seasons will be greatly reduced, especially for those teams who advance far into the tournament.

However, none of the above is of the remotest interest to the evil empire, that is FIFA. They claim they want to spread the game and give more opportunities to the minnows of world football to have a chance at playing at the world cup, the supposed pinnacle of a footballer’s career.  I would beg to differ and just put it down to greed on behalf of the bean counters at FIFA.

After all, FIFA HQ is in Switzerland, a country synonymous with banks and dirty money.  Unfortunately, this greed has spread across all aspects of the tournament, from ticket prices to the cost of transport to the games, hotel rooms, the list is endless.

I am worried that we will have a lot of empty seats at many games, as proper fans simply will not be able to afford to attend, and the atmosphere may suffer.

I will conclude with a few small rule changes that are to be implemented at this world cup. Football is known as the beautiful game, we fans want to be entertained, whilst those who play want to win when they get on the grass.

There has been for years a certain distaste at some of the dark arts, so to speak, that take place during a game, feigning injury, time wasting, trying to get other players punished unjustly.

The evil empire has decided enough is enough and has been proactive in trying to stop this type of behaviour, and here credit must be given to FIFA. The aim is to speed the game up, so you have five seconds to take a throw in, a player being substituted will have ten seconds to leave the field, and if they take longer, then their replacement will have to wait a minute before coming on.

A player who receives treatment for a possible injury will have to go off for a minute before continuing to play. There are others, but these ones stand out for me. 

Before we end the intro, here are two more little clips from the last two finals played in the USA (1994) and Mexico (1986) to get you in the mood for what is to come.

 

Tomorrow, I will start the group previews, so adios until then.

 

The Greatest Show on Earth Returns

It is back, and it is going to be bigger and better than ever or so the organizers would lead you to believe.

Welcome back to Wiggi's alternative view on the world Cup. The idea of the blog is to hopefully help those who, whilst not being that interested in or not that knowledgeable about football but still want to keep abreast of what is going on.

Hopefully by reading this blog, you won't feel such an outsider, when the said event is the only thing that everyone else is talking about. The blog is intended to take a sarcastic, highly opinionated, hopefully humorous and not very politically correct view of the goings on at the world's largest extravaganza.

Of course, we must not forget that there is another very big event taking place this summer in the US of A and that is the nation's 250th birthday which will be celebrated during the World Cup on July 4th. Therefore, I would like to wish all Americans a happy birthday and hope that you can enjoy the football along with all the other celebrations. It is important not to forget that this world cup is being co-hosted by Canada and Mexico.

Another reason behind the blog was to help the good people of the old US of A who are not so well versed in the ins and outs of the worlds (yes there is a rather large world outside of the US of A) favourite sporting event.

This is even more applicable this time round as the evil empire known as FIFA (Federation Internationale de Football Association) is once again trying to breach the last unconquered frontier and spread the gospel of the beautiful game amongst the heathen natives of that great continent.

You readers can help with this task, by sharing these musings as much as you can.

I always open a tournament with a quick recap of the format for those who are not so au fait with the workings. This is very important this time round as for the first time since 1998 (seven world cups ago) the format has been changed with the expansion from 32 to 48 teams participating teams.

This time round, there will be twelve groups of four teams. The top two will go forward into the last thirty-two and the eight best third placed teams across the twelve groups will join them. From then on, it will follow a regular knockout format with the winner of a game advancing to the next round until we reach the final two teams left standing.

We will go into some of the interesting stories that this change may create and perhaps a brief look into why this change has happened in part two of the introduction which will appear tomorrow, before we start previewing the groups, 

It has been three and a half years since that titanic clash between Argentina and France in Qatar 2022 and time seems to have flown by, I have put a link to the highlights of that game below to whet the appetite so to speak. Let's hope for a fun tournament, as ever please feel free to comment and please pass on the link to anyone you feel would be interested.

 

Can EnGerlLand break on through to the other side? A preview of the final.

 

We chased our trophies here, dug our trophies there, but can you still recall, the time we cried, break on through to the other side, break on through to the other side.

That is the aim for EnGerLand tonight, they have reached consecutive Euro finals against all the odds. and now have one more hurdle to clear to end the pain.

The hurdle they need to clear is a big one, the Matadors of La Roja, who have to date played six and won six in this tournament, with a brand of exciting, fast paced attacking football.

To preview this game properly, we have to go a bit statistical, EnGerLand have had 66 total attempts at scoring a goal, compared to Espana’s 108, which is probably why the Flamenco dancers have netted 13 times, compared to EnGerLand who have a meagre 7 goals.

The other interesting comparison is possession, they basically have almost identical numbers in all categories except for one.

EnGerLand are much higher in the area of sideways passes which as we remember EnGerLand have excelled at, as they pretended to be crabs on the beach sidling from left to right and back again.

The fact that in all other possession statistics, it is hard to tell them apart, despite the obvious difference in styles, may lead some to believe that too much emphasis is placed on statistics, and it is less important than other people feel.

There is no doubt that, as Lord Nelson famously said on the eve of the battle of Trafalgar, "EnGerLand expects that every man will do his duty” Until the dramatic semifinal victory over the plucky Orangemen, one did not hear too much of that awful expression, “it is coming home”, but since Wednesday night, the genie has been let out of the bottle.

Quiet a few of my loyal readers have been asking if I am going to use the Spanish Armada for historical context, it has been almost as bad as the Spanish Inquisition which of course nobody expects.

Although the word Armada has become synonymous as the term for a large fleet of ships, it actually comes from the Latin “Armata” which just means armed.

The defeat of the Spanish Armada of 1588 was not achieved in one battle like the defeat of the froggies at Trafalgar, it took a series of naval skirmishes to see off the pesky Spanish. The Spanish actually tried another three times sending more Armadas over the next few years. and they failed each time.  What is interesting is that the Spanish navy was technically much stronger than the tars of the Royal Navy which had only been set up by Henry VIII in 1546 and was still a relatively small force.

Legend has it that Sir Francis Drake had to finish his games of bowls before setting sail to engage the enemy. Then, as today, the odds were in favour of the Matadors, but the English Yeoman were as stout hearted as the oaks of their ships, and the same strength and application will be needed today to fight off the wave after wave of Spanish attacks than we can expect to see in the game.

Will history repeat itself this evening? I am on record as saying that the Spanish will win, I hope to be wrong, EnGerLand need to keep it tight for as long as they can and then look to pinch one on the break as the castanets become weary from all their exertions.

EnGerLand and Espana, have not played each other very often in tournament football, the last two times ended in 0-0 draws which is not encouraging, although EnGerLand did win the penalty shootout in 1996 in the Euro Quarterfinal of that year.

Another interesting thing to watch out for will be the race for the golden boot, the award given to the top scorer. There is currently a tie between Dani Olmo and Harry Kane with three goals, so they are my two to look out for.

Olmo, can he do it again for Spain?

Kane, Will he finally win a trophy?

I hope you have enjoyed the tournament and the blog, and I look forward to seeing you in 2026 for the next world cup.

2nd Semi Final, Operation Market Garden revisited

 

Here we go, here we go, here we go, we now know that the winner of tonight’s game will face Viva Espana in the final on Sunday. It was a fantastic first half, with a goal which will be remembered for years to come by the Spanish Wunderkind, Yamal.

Will this game be a bridge to far for EnGerLand as alluded to in the title of the blog?

Tonight’s game is fascinating for many reasons and here is one you wouldn’t have thought of. Who will the people of Northern Ireland be supporting tonight?

The Protestant side of Ulster are known as the Orangeman as a homage to William of Orange, the Dutch Stadtholder, who then became King William III of EnGerLand.

William defeated the Catholic forces, of the deposed James II of England, at two battles in 1690 and 1691 both in July. The more famous one is the battle of the Boyne and both battles (Aughrim is the other) are commemorated to this day by the Protestants with parades and marching bands which take place on July 12th.

Obviously to the Catholics, he is vilified as a figure of extreme hatred, so what do they do? I suppose that the Taigs will support the Orange and the Proddies the English, in a classic football situation of who do you hate more.

There is no logic to EnGerLand having reached the semifinal, no one can pretend that EnGerLand have played well, in fact they have been awful. Defensively they have been sound, the goal they conceded against the Vikings was one of those things and against the Swiss, the defender slipped allowing the ball to get through.

The problem has been in attack. where they have relied on individual brilliance to twice get themselves out of a hole. This is not a sustainable way of winning football matches, especially for a side that has some of the most exciting and talented players in the game currently.

One thing that has to be praised was the penalty shootout, they were five of the best penalties you will, so if this game does go the distance, EnGerLand will be confident.

 

 

Pickford, hoping for a quiet night

 

Apart from their game against the froggies, the Orangemen have scored in every game, but they also conceded in those games. They will need to be on high alert to plug any leaks in the dyke before they turn into a flood which washes them away.

In attack, the Liverpool winger, Cody Gapko, is in joint first place in the race for the golden boot which is an award for the top scorer in the competition. EnGerLand will need to keep him on a tight leash and if they can keep him quiet, it will go a long way to helping their cause.

Gakpo, can EnGerLand muzzle him?

They have met twice before in the Euros, back in 1988 when the Dutch won 3-1 with a hat trick from Marco Van Basten.

England had hit the post twice before the Dutch scored that day.

Then in 1996, EnGerLand got revenge with a 4-1 victory at Wembley with Shearer scoring this goal.

 

In a radio interview that I gave, I have already put it on record that I think EnGerLand will take this game.

We can all hope that it will be a good watch for the viewers at home, although those that favour EnGerLand will settle for a scrappy goal off somebody’s backside to win the game and b*******s to entertainment.

 

 

Ole Ole or Liberte , who will come out on top in the 1st Semi Final?

 

The last four has come around, there are only three more matches to be played, before we know who the next European champions will be.

In theory, we should be salivating over the prospect of Espana against the Froggies which is tonight and EnGerLand against the Clog wearers from the Low countries which will be played tomorrow.

The fact is though, that the two nations separated by the channel have both failed to live up to expectations to date.

We are going to focus on the game tonight and tomorrow will preview the EnGerLand game.

Hispania and Gaul are neighbours who are separated by the Pyrenees mountains and the independent principality of Andorra, which sits nestled in those mountains,

At the beginning of the Napoleonic wars, the two nations were allies invading Portugal, but then Napolean decided he needed to find a job for his brother and invaded Spain to install his brother, Joseph, as king of Spain, an act that did not go down well with the very proud Spaniards. In general, it is probably fair to say that the matadors find the Beaujolais guzzlers arrogant to say the least and that is being polite.

Since 1998, these two nations have won three World cups and three Euros between them. They both have a serious footballing pedigree.

This should be a battle between Zorro and the man in the iron mask, but much to the annoyance of Zorro and his followers, they have been the victims of cultural appropriation by Mbappe and his gang as you can see below,

 

 

Should he be cancelled for this crime?

Zorro, will he scar Les Bleu?

Can he break free of the shackles?

 

Zorro, the swordsman famous for his dashing charges and thrusting blade as he carved up his opponents is personified, by Yamal and Williams, the two wingers we have mentioned before. The Froggies have been ponderous and lacking creativity going forward, much like someone who has spent over thirty years in prison, whilst to their credit their defence has been like the walls of the Bastille, where the said prisoner was held.

Mbappe broke his nose in the first game they played, hitting his nose on the shoulder of a rugged Austrian mountain, and the mask they have provided for him to play has probably been a great hinderance.

Personally, I think they should drop him, it is somewhat like CR7 and the bottle stoppers from Portugal, they are trying too hard to feed Mbappe and without him, would have to cook up other methods of scoring, using some of that famous gallic culinary flair.

Who can be the next Michelin stared chef for les Bleu?

 

Kounde will be up against Williams

The biggest worry, for La Roja, is that two of their starting eleven, the defenders, La Normand and Carvahal are suspended for this game. This means they must make changes at the back. Whoever comes in will be facing the fake Zorro in Mbappe, (as they will play him despite what I have said) and that will be a tough ask.

Olmo, looking to drive through the Maginot Line

As we approach July 14th, will the bull runners from Pamplona manage to storm the Bastille, or will that have to wait until the final which is actually being played on Bastille Day.  We will find out tonight.