Wiggi's alternative take on sports

 

Before, we look forward, a mention of the action last night. The Vikings scythed through the Celtic shield wall with impunity scoring four times and drawing blood in the form of a red card for one of the Welsh. The Vikings await the winners of the first of today's games.

The gondoliers made hard work of beating the strudel loving denizens from the banks of the Danube with a hard fought two to one victory after extra time. and now await the winners of our late game today. 

Next up is the meeting of the windmills and the Skodas. I must start with a Mea Culpa, I ignored the historic footballing pedigree of the Czech nation and poo pooed their chances of advancing. That was wrong of me and an especially bad oversight on my part. They are not as good as previous incarnations, but this is a solid team with some good players.

These two teams have history in Euros past, in 1976, when it was still Czechoslovakia, they played the Orangemen in the semifinal and beat them three goals to one after extra time. The Czechs went on to beat Ze Shermans on penalties in the final, with the final penalty being score by a certain Antonin Panenka, whose successful attempt gave birth to the Panenka style penalty kick. You can see the highlights of the final and the first ever Panenka below.

 

Panenka, a virtuoso piece of skill from a Skoda driver

The clog clad Dutch had their revenge in Euro 2000 when they beat the now named Czech Republic, one nil with yet another penalty this time taken by Frankie De Boer, who just happens to be the manager of the current Netherlands team.

The Clogs have found their football boots and they were the highest scoring team in the group stages with eight goals. I feel however that while they looked good going forward they were very susceptible at the back, as shown in the two goals they conceded to Ukraine and the two posts hit by the minnows of North Macedonia before the Dutch scored. If those had gone in it would have been a real test of the Dutch character, something they have had not had a lot of in recent times.

Dutch courage is something found by drinking alcohol before going into battle and if ever a team is well placed to find it, then it has to be the Czechs with their strong Pilsner lager.

This is a very difficult game to call, so I will go out on a limb and say that the unfancied Czechs will just edge this one.

The two to watch in this one are Memphis Depay of the lowlanders and Patrick Schick of the brewers. Both have been in goal scoring form.

Depay likes to show off his ink

Have to show this rather than just a picture

The second game is probably the most anticipated game of the tournament so far (whatever the myopic EnGerLand fans think of their upcoming clash with Ze Shermans on Tuesday). 

It sees the reigning holders from the Atlantic coast of Europe, famous for its cork and these days for one Cristiano Ronaldo, aka CR7, a man who at the age of 37 is ridiculously fit and thus hated by most men of a similar age, (as I am well past the age of caring, it is not an issue for me) against the technocrats from Brussels, who also happen to be the number one ranked team in world football, and who are led by Kevin De Bruyne, arguably the best player on the planet at the moment.

Historically these two countries have a lot in common, they had huge empires and were quite brutal in the suppression of rebellion. Those empires have provided both teams with players from the descendants of immigrants who have added flair and talent to each team especially for Portugal with Brazil being their largest colony.

Portugal led the way in sending out expeditions from Europe, their fleets, to borrow a phrase from Star Trek, boldly going where no man had gone before. The Belgians, only really raped Africa, but they did a good job of it.

In football terms, Portugal bored their way to the title in 2016, they drew all their group games and then stifled Les Bleus stealing a winner in extra time. Their squad in this tournament is actually much more exciting but conversely they have played less effectively.

The problem for the navigators, is that they are still over reliant on the unnatural phenomenon that is CR7, who can sting faster than a Portuguese man of war jellyfish and just as painfully. 

The three to nothing win over Hungary flattered to deceive as they only went ahead in the eighty fourth minute through a lucky deflected goal, I posit that, the game would have finished scoreless otherwise. Ze Shermans gave them a good spanking and when they played the froggies, they were lucky to scrape a draw with that being all they needed in the end to go through.

In the group previews, I mentioned the injury sustained by the Belgian star De Bruyne in the champions league final and how his participation in the tournament was in doubt. This was due to an unprovoked attack by an opposing player who just happened to be a member of the NationalMannSchaft, aka Ze Shermans.

I mention this as the preemptive strike on Belgian resources, will be recognized by aficionados of military history as exactly the same tactic used by the German High command in 1914 and the OKW in 1940. 

They obviously are unimaginative and do not learn their lessons as we know that neither of those assaults achieved their long term aims and in our case De Bruyne as evidenced in his return against Denmark, has had a good rest and is ready to stamp his authority on this tournament.

The quality chocolate that we get from Belgium will overpower the port we enjoy from Portugal in what hopefully will be a festive spectacle. The two to watch for in this one are Rui Patricio the goalie who plays for Wolverhampton in the premier league and could be in for a busy night and Yuri Tielemans, the baby faced assassin who plays for Leicester and always looks like he is having a good fun. Check back tomorrow to see the previews of the fastest snails you have ever seen against the Yodelers and the the unsullied from Croatia against the Matadors.

Hopes he will not be fed to the Wolves

Hope to break some Portuguese hearts

Check back tomorrow to see the previews of the fastest snails you have ever seen against the yodelers from Switzerland and the the unsullied from Croatia against the Matadors from Spain.