Group A, Qatar, Ecuador, Senegal and The Netherlands (Holland)

As with many things in life, the first time is always the hardest and so with this first group preview. Wherever you digest your content for this world cup, people are going to be banging on about how surreal this tournament is because of its timing and location. They will also be pontificating at great length about all the underlying issues which are being "sports washed" by the extravagance on display. 

There, I have done it and I will try not to do it again. It is not that I do not care, but all those who claim they are going to boycott the tournament are really just windbags. If one likes football, then one is going to follow even if surreptitiously, so let's not pretend. 

We are here to concentrate on the football which we are hopefully about to enjoy and if necessary, can return to the other issues after the tournament. (I know by then nobody will care)

We will start with the hosts, and we will not beat about the bush, the only way Qatar would ever qualify for a world cup is by being the host nation. Camel racing is the most popular sport in Qatar historically. An interesting point to note is that there is no jockey sitting on the back of the camel, The camel has a robot jockey which includes a speaker for the owner to shout their instructions to the camel. (I kid you not). The spectators drive along the side of the track in their air-conditioned SUV's honking their horns incessantly. Lots of money changes hands on the outcome of the races. Only Arabs are allowed to participate, no foreign owners.

You may have guessed that I do not have much to say about Qatari football, however I do know the following. They are a very organized team, but their main rivals are Bahrain and Saudi Arabia. Any small country in a footballing sense, where the majority of the squad is based domestically is generally at a disadvantage.  I think that they will be hard to score against but feel that they will find it very difficult to score themselves and the other teams in their group are all very experienced and on a higher level than Qatar are.

The opening game usually features the reigning champions from the last world cup, but due to financial contributions, I mean considerations, that is not the case this time and Qatar will face off against Ecuador, this coming Sunday at 16:00 GMT.  Now, even those of the readers whose knowledge of football is limited will perhaps be aware that this is not the game the world has been waiting four years for. 

Stories abound of how the Qataris have tried to bribe the Ecuadorans, with millions of dollars to throw the game. I feel that it is mostly clickbait, but you never know.

Ecuador is on the Northwestern coast of South America, to help you locate it. One departs from there to get to the Galapagos Islands. the place which helped Darwin create his theory of Natural selection of the species. 

The following two paragraphs were written before the news broke on Friday that Sadio Mane, the Senegalese striker is out of the tournament due to injury. I have left them in and will put an addendum afterwards.

In footballing terms, Ecuador are one of those nations in S America who are interchangeable at world cups.  There is Brazil and Argentina and recently Uruguay and then the rest. Ecuador, Chile, Peru, Paraguay and Colombia, all have featured in recent world cups but have never achieved very much. They are technically gifted as with most South American teams and it is probably a tossup between them and the next team, we will mention, that being Senegal, as to whom will join the Netherlands in advancing to the last sixteen.

Senegal is known as the Lions of Teranga as opposed to the indomitable lions of Cameroon, they are the current champions of Africa, their squad is sprinkled with players from the top leagues in Europe and includes Sadio Mane who after an illustrious career at Liverpool winning everything on offer moved to Bayern Munchen for a fresh challenge. There was a recent scare that he would miss the world cup due to injury, but it looks like he is fit, and his availability tends to lead me to think that they will prevail and move onto the next stage. Senegal advanced once before in 2002 after famously beating France, who were the holders, in one of the most exciting opening games on record.  See the highlights below

The group is rounded out by the Orangemen of the Netherlands. The Netherlands is somewhat of an enigma when it comes to their footballing history, they often flatter to deceive. In the 1970's they were exponents of what became known as total football, a style where all the players on the pitch, excluding the goalkeeper, could interchange positions with one another without breaking the structure of the team.

They reached the final on three occasions and lost them all, in 1974 to West Germany, in 1978 to the Argentina of the military Junta and in 2010 to Spain.

Here is how they lost in 1974,

They are on the up once again, however, the trouble with the Dutch is that are unreliable. Despite that, they should have enough to win this group and go through with Senegal as I wrote above. Unfortunately, the news broke on Friday that Senegal will be missing their star player due to injury, therefore I now feel that Ecuador will advance to the knock out stages from second place.

Next up will be the preview for Group B, an inherently more fascinating group and not because of the fact that EnGerLand are in the group. Check in after the Qatar Ecuador game to see why.

It's back, but like you've never seen it before

Salam Alaykum, Keef Halak?  Arabic culture is very big into welcoming guests and so is this blog as we approach the opening of the 2022 World Cup to be played in the independent emirate of Qatar.  Only a year and a half has passed since Euro 2020 (delayed due to Corona) when we last embarked on a joint journey into the depths of the football world.

As usual, the world is beset by challenges and the upcoming month will be an opportunity for people to forget, even if only for a fleeting moment, the energy crisis, the rising cost of living issues and the war in Ukraine.

After this opening introduction, which is always somewhat serious in its tone, we shall revert to the irreverence and not politically correct statements which will hopefully also bring a smile to those who still dare (in private) to admit to enjoying such things in this very changed world. If that is not for you, then I bid you farewell now and hope you enjoy the tournament and the boring drivel you can read elsewhere. Not to say that this blog will not be drivel but hopefully it will not be boring.

One thing that has not changed is the structure of the tournament.

The format is the same as last time, but it is good to recap it here for new readers or for those who may have forgotten because they do not really care. It is actually the last time we shall see this format as the next World Cup which will be held in 2026 (if the world has not been ruined by a nuclear conflagration in Ukraine) will be spread across Canada, the US of A and Mexico and will consist of 48 nations instead of 32, which is just another way for FIFA to make more money and who cares that the quality of the tournament will be diluted.

There are five teams from Africa, four from South America, two each from Central and North America, six from Asia and Australasia with thirteen countries from Europe rounding out the thirty two.

In the first round, the teams are divided into eight groups of four. Each team will play one game, against the other teams in their group, with there being three points for a win and one for a draw. If two teams finish level on points, the places will be determined by what is known as goal difference, i.e. how many goals scored for, against goals conceded.

The top two sides from each group will proceed into the last sixteen which is a straight knockout, the equivalent for our American readers of the sweet 16 in college basketball. We then have eight teams left in the quarterfinals (elite 8) which will be whittled down to four who will play in the semifinals (final 4) and then two who will contest the final.

Unbelievably, there is still the rather arcane game between the two losers of the semi-finals to see who will finish third, who cares, even I cannot remember who that dubious honour went to four years ago.

Four years ago, the World Cup took place in Russia and I wrote the following,

Unfortunately, as is often the case these days, the host Nation be it in the World Cup or the Olympics sometimes has, let us say some image issues. Things that they would rather not have the world's attention drawn to, such as poor Human Rights, (China) very high murder and crime rates (S Africa) or massive poverty at home (Brazil) and therefore a huge effort is put on by the host to deflect the world from these issues by controlled media and photo opportunities.

Russia’s issues tend to be of a more foreign nature, the contretemps with Ukraine and their recent annexation of Crimea, the list is too long for this article, and it is not really the point here.

Those words are as true today as they were then.

The fact that this World Cup is taking place in Qatar in November which is bang in the middle of most countries domestic seasons is bad enough and stinks of corruption and baksheesh (the greasing of palms for those who do not recognise the term).

Qatar is not known as a particularly liberal regime when it comes to such issues as LGBQT+ or freedom of the press. No one is actually sure how many foreign workers died in the building of all the stadia and infrastructure needed to host the tournament. The number six thousand has been bandied about, but I think that is probably on the low side. Those workers were basically just a slave labour force.

It will be interesting to see how the Qataris are going to deal with all the foreign fans who have a penchant for quenching their thirst with certain liquids which are usually forbidden in this strictly Muslim country. They might not have an official morality police such as those in Iran or Afghanistan, but it probably exists in an ad hoc form.

Drinking will not be allowed in public, only in hotel bars or designated fan zones. Fans will not be allowed to remove their tops in celebration which is probably a good idea anyway for two reasons, firstly, the fans would probably burn to a crisp very quickly and secondly, we, the viewers will not be subjected to the sight of too many pasty fat bellies. I wonder if the players will receive more than a yellow card if they take their shirts off to celebrate scoring a goal.

Over the next few days, we will preview the eight groups, so stay tuned for the first of the group previews starting with Group A which consists of the hosts Qatar, Ecuador, the lions of Senegal and the Orangemen of the Netherlands to be followed by another seven posts. one for each group.

I will then return with previews of the deciding games in the group stages and all the games in the knockout rounds.  

Inshallah, we will have a fun tournament with plenty of incidents to chew over and discuss both on and off the field of play.

As ever feel free to comment and please please, share the blog with others. 

This is the end, my only friend, the end. EnGerLand vs Forza Italia Euro 2020/1 . The Final Preview

The lyrics of the haunting song by The Doors quoted in the title include the following stanzas "Can you picture what will be? so limitless and free, no safety or surprise, the end" and "lost in a Roman wilderness of pain, all the children are insane."  

Well, tonight the frenzy will reach a crescendo one way or another and it will be all over. None of us are certain of what the outcome will be. However, we are definitely all insane and the hope is that it will be the barbershop boys who are in that wilderness of pain and not EnGerLand.

Before we get into how the teams made it to the final and how we think the final will go, I just want to thank you my loyal readers for sticking with me through this tournament, from the responses I have received on the blog and directly, I am glad that people have enjoyed reading my drivel.

I have had people giving me suggestions for what I can include in this post and also the number of readers has gone up which means you must be sharing the blog with others. I thank you for this, and ask that you do so again for this final posting, send it to your friends and family so we can spread the love.

Funnily enough, one of the favourite sections seems to be, what foods will we have to choose from to show where our allegiances lie? People like to try and guess and I have to try and surprise them. Well, today we are going to start with biscuits. Do you prefer digestives (chocolate or plain) or a Garibaldi?

Both teams, as we know, had tough games in the semifinals. They both went to extra time and the olive oil boys had to endure a penalty shootout but have had an extra day to rest and recover.

Watching EnGerLand was a cathartic experience, (note to my cousin, it had the requisite levels of tension). When the game went to extra time, it was the same old story, the same anxieties began to arise, EnGerLand fans all suffer from a form of PTSD, and when they were awarded, a somewhat on reflection (but who cares) soft penalty, the old fears were triggered even more.

Up stepped H Kane, and of course he missed, but scored on the rebound. It was like a CBT or EMDR therapy session, the main tools which have been found successful for treating PTSD.  (You can look up the acronyms on Google, this is not the forum for that).

EnGerLand had revisited their nightmare and vanquished it, hopefully banished forever. Unfortunately, do not be surprised if the nightmare tries to rear its ugly head tonight.

So to the history, one of my readers asked how I was going to weave in any historical animosity between EnGerLand and Italia. He said yes, they fought with Ze Shermans in WW II but that was only because they were on the Allied side in WWI and the Allies did not want them again because they were so useless as Ze Shermans found out to their cost.

Another point to note is that the inhabitants of the little Island off the coast of mainland Europe can start a fight in an empty room. They are a bellicose people, much unloved around the world and have fought most nations at one time or another.

The true Roman Empire, which existed for seven hundred years fell in the year 476. It was not until the year 1871 that it became a unified country again with Rome as its capital. This was brought about by a certain sailor called Garibaldi, (who actually lived for three weeks on Tyneside, obviously more than enough for him) hence the choice of biscuit earlier. 150 years is a short time for a country to exist, it is even less than the US of A and as we know, they have no history of note.

Therefore, we have to go back further, to Roman times. Julius Caesar was the first to lead an expedition to try and subjugate and incorporate the island of Britannia into the Roman Empire. He did not succeed and it was not until the reign of the emperor Claudius that Britannia finally came under the Roman yoke.

I have never understood why all these European countries have wanted to invade Britannia. Inclement weather, warm beer and bland food,  that’s what the island is known for, all far removed from the warm Mediterranean climate and tasty food of Italia, Espana and the Froggies, to name but a few who have tried to invade over the years.

Anyway in the year 60, the tribes arose under Queen Boudica, their version of the Iron Lady and gave the Roman legions a bloody nose. To this day, she is considered a folk hero in many quarters for standing up to Johnny foreigner.

The English as with many island races are fiercely independent and have the memory of an elephant when it comes to these things and her spirit of defiance is one of the things that will be called on tonight.

I have nothing but the utmost respect for this Italian team, you will not read here any jingoistic, xenophobic references such as that they are bunch of diving cheats, experts in the dark arts of time wasting who could teach a better class than Professor Snape could ever have dreamed of.  Or that they have bribed the referee or threatened his family, match fixing is common place and the list goes on.

No, we do not think any of the above. This Italian team is unbeaten in their last thirty three outings which is impressive in itself. What is even more remarkable is that in their last twenty four games they have only trailed once for a period of ten minutes.

This team is more like the Borgias than the Montagues or Capulets, better known as Romeo and Juliet, there is no Romanticism shown here, just a hard ruthlessness that Lucretia Borgia would have been proud of. If Romeo had ever tried to put a ladder under Juliet’s window, our friend Chiellini would just have kicked the ladder away with Romeo still on it.

So who else do we need to watch out for apart from the usual suspects we mentioned in the semifinal preview?  Let us start with Jorginho, one of their Brazilians; if it goes to penalties, he is one of the best penalty takers in the world at the moment. We should look out for immobile, who may spend a lot of time doing this.

Immobile, his favoured position

Jorginho, deadly from the spot

Another choice then, Pizza or Fish and Chips, what will you be snacking on at half time?

In 1969, a film was released starring Michael Caine titled The Italian Job, it was a comedy about a robbery where a group of English criminals planned to steal some gold and use the cover of a football game and the presence of thousands of English fans in Turin to escape. I will not give away any spoilers, but it ends in a cliffhanger.

EnGerLand will be hoping to nick a victory tonight. This is the time where the nation will be looking for inspiration, where the spirit of the Blitz will be invoked, the bulldog tenacity of the island of shopkeepers as Napoleon called the English, their hard working and stubbornness will be brought forth. 

Up and down the country, people will be humming the tune to the hymn Jerusalem (because they don't know the words) evoking England's pleasant pastures seen, in England's green and pleasant land.

The top scorer for EnGerLand so far is Harry Kane or "H" as he is fondly known as, after a slow start he has rediscovered his touch with four goals. Harry means “Home Rule” in German and they will be hoping that is a good omen.

As we referenced Shakespeare earlier, we will return to the bard to draw yet more inspiration. Where better to look for a motivational speech than that given by Henry V  (who actually calls himself Harry in the monologue) on the eve of the battle of Agincourt against the Froggies in 1415. You will know some of the lines, “We few, we happy few, we band of brothers” to quote but one. I am going to paraphrase some of the others to show their suitability for the occasion.

Old men forget, but they will remember what feats were done this day. Then shall the names familiar to the tongue as household words. Harry the King, Phillips and Rice, Sterling and Grealish. This story shall the good man teach his children.

He that shall live this day and see old age, will yearly feast with his neighbours and strip his sleeve and show his scars and recall where they were on this auspicious day.

He, who hath no stomach for this fight, let him depart, we should not watch in that man’s company, that fears his fellowship to suffer with us.

Stirring stuff indeed.

Below is the full speech delivered by Kenneth Branagh in his version of Henry V.

 

Inspiring stuff, St Crispin's day speech Henry V Act IV

This game will not be for the weak hearted, finals are often poor spectacles as the players are shackled by the fear of falling at the last hurdle. It will be a tactical battle as the two managers try to come up with a plan to negate the opposition.

In 2012, the two nations faced off in the quarterfinals of the Euros and EnGerLand predictably lost on penalties after a scoreless one hundred and twenty minutes of football. The probability of the game tonight, going at least into extra time and then perhaps penalties are very high.

EnGerLand, have a terrible record against Italia so the omens are not good from that perspective, but this team has already banished a few historical demons on their way to the final and will not be fazed by that, whatever the fans might think.

To be honest, the feelings of trepidation are great, my nerves are a mess, there are too many people who want to come and watch who are not connected, they are jumping on the bandwagon. They really want to watch us and not the game. If EnGerLand lose tonight, they should quickly and quietly scurry away as we vent our disappointment.

However, if EnGerLand triumph, you will be able to hear us everywhere as the fans will be doing the conga, in the deserts of Sudan and the gardens of Japan, from Milan(well perhaps not there) to Yucatan, every woman, every man.

In the wilds of Borneo and the vineyards of Bordeaux, Eskimo, Arapaho. Move their body to and fro.  with thanks to Ian Dury and the Blockheads.

Everyone will hear the EnGerLand fans, they will be insufferable, and I think, just because of that, the whole world will be rooting for Forza Italia tonight so as not to have to listen to the strains of “Vindaloo “, “It’s coming home” and strangely enough “Sweet Caroline” (an import from twenty twenty cricket games) as they are endlessly sung in a drunken stupor.

A bit of Vindaloo, to help you get in the mood

Another factor at least in Europe is the recent Brexit, If EnGerLand go onto be coming champions of Europe, President Macron and Chancellor Merkel amongst others will be shedding more than a few tears.

Two players who will be very important tonight are Jordan Pickford the goalkeeper and yet another Harry, this one being the defender Maguire.

 

Pickford, hoping he will not be too busy tonight

Maguire, needs to use his head

The tournament has had some great football. Not just because EnGerLand have reached the final. There have been lots of goals scored and plenty of good football on show to entertain the masses and keep football fans happy during the summer break which is a trying time for them. The majority of true football fans, much prefer club over country and are ready to get back to the day to day issues of preseason training and transfer rumours. 

Win or lose, it has been a good ride which I hope you have enjoyed sharing with me.

This is not the time for logical thought out predictions. You all know what I want, this is not the occasion for the head but only the heart. So let us start singing, Here we go, here we go, here we go and push EnGerLand over the line to victory.

Finally. Cornetto or a 99, what is it going to be?

Just one Cornetto

Two 99's beats one Cornetto

It's Coming...... the final preview will be out on Sunday midday.

Second semifinal, EnGerLand vs The Vikings of Denmark. or It's coming home, the saga continues.

It is Italia. both teams now know who they will face on Sunday if they should win tonight. As we predicted yesterday, Espana dominated possession but could not do anything with it and once it went to penalties, it was patently obvious that Espana would lose. Adios Amigos, you just have not been good enough.

Today, the food options before us are not what most people thought I would use. I imagine that most people before the game starts will be wetting their whistle so to speak, so the first choice today is between Carlsberg, with their pretentious claim to be "probably the best lager in the world" slogan, a bold claim indeed, or a pint of John Smith's Yorkshire Bitter down the battlecruiser with Arkwright and his pals.

Giving the right incentive

Today's Danes are far removed from their Viking ancestors or from the characters that featured in the epic poem Beowulf, written in the sixth or seventh century in EnGerLand, about a Danish king besieged by the monster Grendel who is killed by a Swede called Beowulf. I remember learning it in school, it was interminably long and pretty unintelligible, but were not most things in school like that?

Anyway I digress, I like the Danes, I have two Danish neighbours, they are nice chaps, I shared the benches of further education with a Dane. He was called "The Dane" funnily enough, a lovely fellow.

Who did not grow up on the nice stories of Hans Christian Andersen, such as the princess and the pea or the little mermaid?

Another thing, is that a lot English people have Danish heritage, towns and villages along the East coast of Britain have Danish based names. Take Grimsby for example, it means Grim's village in Danish. A Viking raider decided it would be a nice place to live and his name was Grim. 

I highly recommend the series written by Bernard Cornwell, titled The Last Kingdom chronicling the formation of the kingdom of EnGerLand and all the battles with the Vikings that took place in that period. There are thirteen books in total and they are a great read.

This is what makes it difficult, they are very likable and one does not want to upset them, but tonight EnGerLand will be hoping to make the mermaid in Copenhagen harbour blush in shame.  

This is unchartered waters for almost all EnGerLand fans, today is the second semifinal in a row at consecutive major tournaments after EnGerLand lost to Croatia in 2018 and before that to Yugoslavia in 1968 two years after having won the world cup, a gap of fifty three years.

EnGerLand fans are hoping that this one will go better than either of those semifinals, or the two losses to Ze Shermans they have suffered as well. In total, EnGerLand have failed at their last four attempts in a major semifinal. If it was a school report it would read something like, "Young (insert name) has potential but has never realized it when it matters." Signed Mr. long suffering fan (insert name).

The last time these two teams met in a competitive game was in the World Cup in Japan 2002.

EnGerLand fans will be hoping for a repeat performance tonight.

Our historical reference today is the battle of Copenhagen in 1801 where a British fleet under the commend of Lord Nelson defeated a Danish fleet. Hopefully another omen for the game tonight.

The Vikings, as has been mentioned before, have been galvanized by the collapse and near death of their star Christian Ericksen, this type of unity is a dangerous thing for opponents to come up against. Although it sounds bad given the circumstances, the Danish players are willing to shed blood in their pursuit of the title. 

They are a good team, and have played some very nice football in getting to this point, but to be honest they have only faced one so called strong team in the Brussel sprouts and they lost that game to boot. 

Two to watch out for tonight are Joakim Maehle and Mikkel Damsgaard, the latter came in for Ericksen and has impressed everyone and the former has stood out, marauding down the flanks in true Viking fashion.

Damsgaard, a rising star

Maehle, hard to stop

Watching EnGerLand play the Cossacks in the quarterfinal was a surreal experience. The last time EnGerLand had scored four goals in a knockout game was the final in 1966. As we sat and watched the game, the tension that usually accompanies us when EnGerLand play visibly dissipated before our eyes. After sixty minutes and three goals to the good, with it clearly being obvious that Ukraine had given up, we were sitting talking about the performance of Vinnie Jones in She's the Man rather than the football we were watching. 

My cousin messaged me after the game and asked if I had enjoyed it and I replied no, she said some people are never happy.  I answered, we need the tension, win or lose.

The problem with a national side and this is not exclusive to EnGerLand is that when a team does well in a major tournament, the whole country gets caught up and swept along in a tidal wave of anticipation. 

This is terrible, as a supposed football maven, you get random people asking you for ones opinion on why Harry Kane is not doing "X" and should Jordan Henderson play instead of "Y". These same people would not recognize those players if they walked passed them in the street.

It is one thing to have informed discussion with you, my dear and loyal followers, we are invested in the game, but with Joe Bloggs, a test of ones patience for sure.

On paper, EnGerLand should have too much for the Vikings, but football is not played on paper. EnGerLand have yet to concede a goal and while that must eventually come to an end, that defensive stability  allied with the efficiency shown in front of goal so far by the English forwards should see them through to a meeting with Italia on Sunday. The added advantage of playing at home as well should not be understated.

On the other hand, all EnGerLand fans have been here before and it would be typical if this side did an EnGerLand and contrived to lose.

The two English player who have been central to the stability are Declan Rice and Kalvin Phillips, two unsung players who have gone about their business with a minimum of fuss.

Kalvin, always smiling as he kicks you

Declan, the face of a navvy, but one that works hard

Tonight, at half time, we are going to sit down to pie and chips with HP sauce and it would be nice to have a little Danish pastry with lots of white icing on the top for our dessert. Going back to Mr. Andersen, the Vikings will be hoping that they are indeed the ugly duckling that turns out to be a swan. 

EnGerLand to win tonight, there I have written it.

Join us on Sunday for the preview of the final.

First semifinal, Italia v Espana

As my regular readers will know, I like food, I like to sprinkle references to popular national dishes in my articles and for this match up, we will have the battle of Paella and Spaghetti Bolognese. 

This semifinal clash between Hispania (Rome's name for the province) and Italia is a battle of Southern Europe. Two Mediterranean, very Catholic, Latin nations, but yet very different in their temperament and at the moment, that is well reflected in their respective styles of football.

Some observers might feel that this is a clash between two titans of European football, in a way it is, but in a historical football sense it is not. Espana despite all the talent available to them only won their first title in 2008,  Please, don’t let me be misunderstood, the fact that they then won the world cup in 2010 and retained the Euros in 2012, just means they had an exceptional side for four years. (I know they won the Euro in 1964 , but that was just between four teams so does not really count)

The Azurri have won four world cups going back to before World War II and the Euros once and been runners up twice in both competitions.  Forza Italia is a giant on the European football stage on a par with Ze Shermans.

What is the first thing that comes to mind when one thinks of Espana, no, "not the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain", it is of course the concept of Siesta. This idea of having a rest every afternoon perfectly reflects their languid style of life, despite their Latin origins. 

This current crop of matadors who are representing Espana, have not excited in this tournament. There has been a distinct lack of Oles on show. Hold on, I can hear you say, they are the top scoring side. Yes, they have won five three and five nothing in two of their last three games, but two of those went to extra time and against the watch makers from the Alps, they had a numerical advantage, player wise, for forty six minutes and still could not score.

Espana are probably the most adept side at retaining possession of the ball, but they do not enough with it. They lack the killer touch. They have lost their swords in the bull fighting ring.

They even contrived to miss two penalties and were lucky, that the alpine bell ringers dropped a clangor and missed three out of four.

One of the players who could see most action tonight is the goalie Unai Simon, who is actually a Basque born in Vitoria, site of one of the Duke of Wellington's greatest victories in the peninsular war against the Froggies.  He has had a mixed tournament going from zero to hero after this moment of embarrassment but then redeeming himself with some fantastic saves to rescue his side when they were wobbling.

A moment Simon will want to forget

Another player to watch out for is the starlet called Pedri, a mere lad of eighteen, he kicked the ball in the clip above. Apart from that he has been impressive.

Pedri, Still wet behind the ears

One other thing that should be mentioned is that players from smaller clubs feature in both squads, there is no player from Real Madrid for example, something that would have been unthinkable in the past. 

As mentioned above, Espana retained their European title in 2012 with a four to nothing drubbing of the Linguini munchers. Losing by four goals in an international is always a bad thing to happen. When it occurs in the final of a major tournament, it is a major embarrassment and one that calls for revenge of some sort. 

Interestingly enough, there are still some members of the teams from that night in July 2012 who will be featuring tonight. All three of them are defenders, Jordi Alba for Espana, and Leonardo Bonucci and Giorgio Chiellini for Italia.

Bonucci

Chiellini, out for revenge

This is not a good thing for Espana, Chiellini as you can see from his picture would not look out of a place as member of the mob in one of the godfather films. He looks like he enjoys hurting people. Bonucci, whilst also somebody you would not want to meet in a dark alley, has more of the feeling of someone who would ask after the health of your mother before giving you a good kicking.

These two will hold a blood feud against anything that slights them and they are the defensive rock on which this Italia team is based. Their motto is “You shall not pass” as Gandalf said to the Balrog in the fellowship of the ring.

Surprisingly for Italia, this current team is very exciting to watch going forward, I wrote in a previous article about the fact that twenty three out of the twenty six ply their trade in their homeland and this is definitely having a positive influence on the squad. In contrast, a majority of the toreadors play for foreign clubs.

They suffered a big injury blow when Spinazolla their marauding full back who had been very impressive ruptured his Achilles against the grey men from Brussels and he will be missed.

If the game is tight, expect to see a lot of players rolling around on the floor feigning death to try and waste time.  The Italians used this tactic in their last match and it nearly came back to bite them in the bottom.  In fact when they scored their first goal against the sprouts, there was a gondolier playing dead lions in the penalty box as the ball went into the net. He had a remarkable resurrection that would not have looked out of place on the stage of La Scala.

Better get up now

This is a very tough game to call, in the battle of the Olive oils, I am going to say that the Extra Virgin Mary of Italia will prevail over the cold pressed oil of Espana. We will be back tomorrow with a look at EnGerLand versus the Vikings.

It's coming home, the story continues

We have four games to look forward to over the next two days, I am actually not going to dwell on them too much and instead focus on what happened on Tuesday night.

Today, we have the yodeling cheese maker’s fresh from their titanic escape from the jaws of defeat, and their subsequent victory over the world champions from the land of the snails and frogs legs. Once again the white flags were quickly raised as Les Bleus succumbed to defeat on Penalties. In the crowd, there was a verbal slanging match going on between the parents of some of the players as to who was to blame. As I had written there is nothing like the Froggies losing it.

Their opponents today are the Toreadors, who escaped the ignominy of giving away a two goal lead themselves and suffering the same fate as the froggies, by beating Croatia in extra time. They have now scored ten goals in their last two matches.

Have the Swiss shot their bolt, have the Spanish run out of ammunition, will this be a score bore? So many questions and I have no idea. I went with Les Bleus beating the Swiss, but they showed the bravery of William Tell, to come through, can they do it again?  I doubt it, by I hope they do.

The late game today is, according to most people, the game that will provide the winner of the tournament if you don’t subscribe to the theory that it is coming home.

Brussels Sprouts or Gelato, what do you prefer? I actually like Brussels sprouts and have a very good recipe for them. The Belgie will be missing KDB and the Eyeties have been very solid.  A lot of people are tipping Italia for this one, but I’ll go with the dark chocolate makers.

Tomorrow kicks off, with the Cinderella team from Denmark riding on the Ericksen wave against the workmanlike Czech Republik. The Vikings should have too much for  the Skodas, but again who really can predict these games.

The game that closes out the quarter finals sees EnGerLand take on the surprise package from the steppe, Ukraine.

The setting for Tennyson’s epic Charge of the light brigade was the Crimea, nominally a part of the Ukraine unless of course you are the Russian bear.

We know how that went and what it was about, the foolhardy charge into the valley of death. Let us hope that it is not an omen and EnGerLand can survive their trip to Rome, and return to Wembley on Wednesday.

Tuesday night was, I suppose, what an out of body experience might feel like. EnGerLand fans were transported to a place that none under the age of fifty five had ever been to before, a Utopian paradise, Nirvana, the Garden of Eden, call it what you want. EnGerLand had finally overcome Ze Shermans in a match that mattered.

It is irrelevant that EnGerLand still have to win three more games before they can be called champions of anything, Ze Shermans….

We shall come back to this shortly.  I have been reading lots of articles by football correspondents describing their feelings after Tuesday, so I thought why not, I can share mine as well.

Firstly, we need to explain to the uninitiated, what it means to be a football fan. Football fans are pessimistic by nature, they always think the worse can happen because it once did in the depths of history. EnGerLand with good reason are an extreme example of this phenomenon.

As I wrote in the preview, since 1966, EnGerLand have faced Ze Shermans four times in knockout games and contrived to lose them all.

This is how it works, you start watching the game, your nerves are a wreck, those not in the know would think, you obviously want your team to score early. NO, we say it is too early, and we are bound to lose because we can never hold a lead, a good example of this was in the world cup semi final against Croatia in 2018 where EnGerLand score in the fourth minute and lost. Case in point.

The game continues, on the one hand you are happy the score is still level, but on the other hand, you are more worried about the opposition scoring and having less time to do something about it.

Half time comes and you can relax and take on board some refreshment, in our case an excellent selection of meat and chicken pies gracefully provided by our generous host.

The first half action is analysed and advice given on what to do differently in the second half.

The action resumes, more beers are sunk, we all return to our places, football fans are a very superstitious lot. Lucky items of clothing are worn. We all return to exactly the same seat, you cannot move because that might bring bad luck. When will the manager make a change. Twenty minutes to go and both managers bring on substitutes, you could cut the tension in the room with a knife.

I had two of my three sons watching with me and my daughter, a new mother herself, watching in her flat with her American husband. My children, since they have been old enough, have sat through the disappointment of watching EnGerLand lose, they are in their twenties, and they get it. There were a bunch of young teens in the room, they get it. None of these children were even born in EnGerLand, but they have imbibed the feelings, it is a part of their DNA.

EnGerLand are on the attack and it happens, they score, around the world EnGerLand fans explode in a rhapsody of ecstasy, singing and dancing and hugging each other. However, we know, fifteen minutes still to be played plus injury time, and it is after all  Ze Shermans, we have been here before and lost.

The tension is actually worse, those who chew their nails have none left, an almost eerie silence envelops the room broken by the occasional shouted expletive at the doubtful heritage of the referee.

Then it happens, the moment we all knew was coming, a mistake, Ze Shermans are away, clean through on goal and not just any Sherman, but one called Muller.

Muller was head of the Gestapo and was never found after the war, Muller was the name of the player who scored the winner for Ze Shermans in 1974 against the Orangemen. Moller was the name of the player who scored the winning penalty at Wembley in 1996. 

This particular Muller has won many games both for the NationalMannSchaft and his club side. He races towards the goal, the groans are already spreading around the world. In Berlin, Ze Shermans fans are up on their feet, already cheering, he shoots and would you Adam and Eve it, he misses. We go mental, Ze Shermans are bereft.  

Reaction in a Biergarten in Berlin

The tune to the Great Escape film, begins to be heard, followed by Hitler only has one ball, etc starts to resonate around the room, we do not need to worry about political correctness.

At that moment, we began to believe, but still would not get ahead of ourselves. Three minutes later EnGerLand score again through their talismanic captain, “H” Kane. Those who remember the Falkland’s war will recall that the Victoria Cross won at the battle of Goose Green was posthumously awarded to one “H” Jones. "H" stands for leadership apparently.

Even Boris knows who H is

Two goals to the good, but it is not over. We only needed to look at the games from the day before where both Croatia and Switzerland had come back from such a deficit with five minutes to go.

One minute to go in injury time, the game is all but over, but fans all over the world are still screaming at the referee to blow his F***ing whistle.

It is over, EnGerLand have beaten Ze Shermans for the first time since 1966 in a game that matters. It is irrelevant that they have not won anything yet. This is a psychological barrier which has been smashed. This was the proverbial monkey on the back, the ridding of the inferiority complex.

The feeling of euphoria and elation is hard to describe to those who do not like football. 

The games go on and maybe "it is coming home" who knows? Even if EnGerLand contrive not to win the title, they will never be able to take away this victory. We will all remember where we were on that fateful day.

The blog will return on Tuesday, with a preview of the first semi-final.